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Yeah, she caught me staring all right. I turned away, embarrassed. Little was said as we busied ourselves applying sunscreen. Mine was SPF several million. Hers smelled like pina coladas. “Here,” she said after a bit. “You missed a spot. Let me get it for you so you don’t burn.” She took my lotion and filled in the missing areas in the middle of my back that I can never get on my own. My head swam with her scent and the touch of her strong hands. I needed something to distract myself (“honestly – do you THINK she could be interested in an old dinosaur like you?”), so I cracked open the cooler and offered her a drink. We lay back on the sand and began to chat. Slowly, I began to relax. She was fun to talk with. She was very bright, and opinionated, but unlike most people, she actually knew what she was talking about when giving her opinion. Our conversation flowed like a river, sometimes fast and loud, sometimes slow and deep. I found out she was a dancer, in town for a short time. You, out there," he started, feeling more than a bit silly, talking to empty air, "I... don't really know what to call you, or even if you exist. I know, it seems pretty shallow of me, turning to you now, talking to you because I want something. Five years ago, if I saw this picture of myself, I'd have laughed. 'Look, it's some guy who thinks he's talking to an invisible something, that, for all he knows, looks like a hedgehog when it allows itself to be seen.' I don't know if you're omniscient, or even why you should give a damn about the life of one man, whether you know the details of that life or not. But things have been hard for the last few years. I'll pull through it, I'm sure, though I don't really know why I still bother. But things would be so much easier if I just had someone to be with. Friend, lover, or just someone who won't charge me fifty bucks an hour to listen to my bellyaching, then tell me I'm depressed, as if I didn't already know that. I'm not asking for the.
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